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Hello! I'm a writer from central New York who has bipolar disorder. Among other topics, I write about mental illness and writing. I have short stories published in Lynx Eye, Lost Coast Review, The Outrider Review, Sliver of Stone Magazine, The Mondegreen, The Linnet's Wings, Cobalt Review, Breath & Shadow, The Round Up, Postscripts to Darkness, Masque & Spectacle, and several other journals. I have a poem in The Poeming Pigeon, essays about mental illness in The Ram Boutique and Amygdala Literary Magazine, and an essay in Parts Unbound: Narratives of Mental Illness & Health, a book that was published by Lime Hawk Literary Arts Collective. My story "Santa Lucia" was nominated for a Pushcart Prize. I've written three novels entitled Purple Loosestrife, Hoping It Might Be So, and Dark and Bright, all of which are as yet unpublished. I'm working on a memoir about my experiences with bipolar disorder. I have a B.A. in English from SUNY Buffalo and an M.A. in English from SUNY College at Brockport. I hope you enjoy your visit to my blog!

Friday, May 29, 2015

Theoretical Physics

I love theoretical physics and love reading books and articles on the topic. The problem is, sometimes I just go down the rabbit hole when I read about this stuff and end up feeling depressed, or perhaps hypomanic, or maybe a combination of the two. Although I love it, the topic is a trigger, and I have to be careful of how much and when I read about physics.

I love the way various theories make me think deeply and way outside of the box. But then this thinking often seems to bring me around to questions about life and death, and why we're here, and what's the point of all this, etc. These questions are what unhinge me. I think this kind of thing could happen to anyone, but when you're a person with bipolar disorder, I believe you're more likely to become off balance by such profound thinking that can lead to negative concepts such as, "There's nothing after this," or "There's no point," or "We're just little meaningless specks in this unfathomably huge universe."

So I just watch my mood when I feel inclined to read about physics. If I'm not very well balanced, I consider carefully whether or not I want to risk the negative thinking that I bring about (because I know I'm making it happen). If I'm feeling good, then it may be a perfect time to read. The bottom line is that it's important to know what might trigger episodes for you when you have bipolar disorder. The things that do this may be obvious or may be really weird, but recognizing them is important.

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