About Me

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Hello! I'm a writer from central New York who has bipolar disorder. Among other topics, I write about mental illness and writing. I have short stories published in Lynx Eye, Lost Coast Review, The Outrider Review, Sliver of Stone Magazine, The Mondegreen, The Linnet's Wings, Cobalt Review, Breath & Shadow, The Round Up, Postscripts to Darkness, Masque & Spectacle, and several other journals. I have a poem in The Poeming Pigeon, essays about mental illness in The Ram Boutique and Amygdala Literary Magazine, and an essay in Parts Unbound: Narratives of Mental Illness & Health, a book that was published by Lime Hawk Literary Arts Collective. My story "Santa Lucia" was nominated for a Pushcart Prize. I've written three novels entitled Purple Loosestrife, Hoping It Might Be So, and Dark and Bright, all of which are as yet unpublished. I'm working on a memoir about my experiences with bipolar disorder. I have a B.A. in English from SUNY Buffalo and an M.A. in English from SUNY College at Brockport. I hope you enjoy your visit to my blog!

Thursday, June 30, 2016

Bipolar Disorder and a Darker Side of Writing

As you may know, I'm working on a book called Violets Are Blue: Essays About My Bipolar Life. This project is coming along extremely slowly and is very hard to write. There are many things about my depressive and manic episodes, hospitalizations, and just day-to-day struggles that I don't want to dwell on long enough to write about them. This endeavor has the potential to take me to some very dark places. Just the other night, I was thinking about my worst manic episode ever and subsequent hospitalization, and it really brought me down.

And then I began to wonder... is memoir just a fiction of what the writer is able to write? Is it a narrative that's easier to deal with than reality? I want to write what's true and honest and raw, but how can I do that when it takes me to places in my mind to which I don't want to go? Where I can't go for fear of triggering depression?

So this project remains up in the air. I'm taking a couple weeks of hiatus from it perhaps to come back to it with the strength to write about what truly happened. But I don't know if I can do that. There were some very dark times, both depressive and manic, that I don't want to revisit. But don't I have to if I want to educate and enlighten my readers? I don't have the answers to these questions at this time. It's just something I have to continue to ponder.

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